It’s been a while since I last blogged, at first it was because I couldn’t think of what to write about. Then as the week progressed I was informed of a family emergency and cheating on my diet more than I wanted.
Easy stuff first: So I’ve stopped doing the insanity program, I did it for a full week and midway through and afterwards my shins ached really bad. So I’ve decided to shelve that until I lose a major amount of weight. In place of it I have done Kettelbell workouts, walking more, continuing to do yoga, and swimming.
As for my dieting, I’ve cheated more than I intended to this week, partly due to not having enough food in the house, and then stress from hearing that my grandmother has brain damage from the accident she had early December.
I find it very interesting, that because I don’t have enough variety of foods within my diet, or rather only one part of the meal, that I’ll get hungry, and at that point the first 30 minutes or so I’ll be in a state where I’ll be like, “OK, lets see what I can make within my dietary restrictions.” after that or if I skip that part for whatever reason, I just don’t really car afterwards, I’m hungry, and just need to get sustenance in whatever form available. Once I start cheating, it’s just a slippery slope until I feel satiated. Then I feel bad because I know I’m probably not going to lose weight for that day. I try to not beat myself up over it too much, however, I recognize what I’ve just done and I try to analyze what happened what it was like, and how to correct it. As simple as it sounds, I just need to keep the kitchen stocked with stuff in my diet. I don’t have cheat day cravings if I eat just before or right when I get hungry, so if I can keep the fridge stocked with enough variety I’ll be less likely to cheat. I was pretty busy with interviews this week, and I didn’t go out of my way to make it to the store. What’s funny is that Safeway is just a 10 minute walk from my apartment. I need to edit into my schedule optional times to go to the store I think. Then actually do it. It really just comes down to going and doing it I believe.
In early December my grandmother Bettie and mother were in a car accident when they hit a patch of black ice. My mom was banged up and sore but relatively OK. Bettie broke both her legs and had some nasty damage to her head from hitting the steering wheel (for some reason when they crashed the airbags did not deploy).
Up until a few weeks we thought she was healing well, and seemed fine mentally–apart from the hospital blues– but recently the doctors have told us that there may be some brain damage, but don’t know to what extent. I called her a day ago and it reminded me of the past few years of interacting with my grandfather Dave and his Alzheimer’s. This is pretty scary stuff for me; I was raised by my grandparents and consider them my father and mother. We lost my grandfather Dave in 2011, so you can imagine how stressful (and emotional) this is.
I am working on getting up to Alaska next week after a few interviews I have here in Seattle. I’m really hoping that things really aren’t as bleak as they seem, I’m hoping that the damage is temporary and reversible, but I just don’t know. I don’t want to lose another parent so soon.